Even though I consider myself an agnostic atheist, my exposure to various forms of Protestant Christianity is considerable.
I considered myself Christian until my mid-20s, then theistic, and only truly atheistic for the last 5 years or so.
South Africa was a "Christian" country before Apartheid fell. All the government schools were therefore Christian by default. The government favoured the Calvinism of the NG Kerk, but I remember the daily religious assemblies as being fairly non-denominational - a daily hymn and Lord's prayer followed by a Bible reading and then a Prayer - but then maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to the message. Also my knowledge of denominations was not great. Our schools were Calvinist in attitude - discipline was of utmost importance, they were still caning boys into the 90's, and rules and uniforms, and abstinence and piety (and NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!) and all that stuff was thrown at us constantly.
Apartheid fell in 1990 and schools were opened to all races in 1991. I was 10, but compulsory Christianity in schools continued for my entire school career. My sister says that by the time she reached my high school they had done away with the daily Christian assembly and instead installed a secular daily assembly where they sang a song and recited a daily pledge about diversity, peace and tolerance. Why did I not get to go to school at this time?! That sounds right up my alley. It made sense. At my high school there was a large Hindu contingency (I am guessing that now the school is majority Hindu) and they along with all the Muslims and other non-Christians had to sit through the daily Christian assemble and weekly Bible study class.
I also voluntarily went to various Sunday Schools, churches and Youth Groups over the years. I find this really weird because my parents did not practice any religion at all, and nor did their parents. I think we were all brought up to be Christian at school and accepted ourselves as culturally Christian, but apart from that my parents were utterly apathetic towards religion. For that I am truly grateful.
Nevertheless, I was a child with a deep need to obey rules and do the right thing - a bunch of kids were attending Sunday School - I probably just assumed it was something you were supposed to do so I took myself off to Sunday school.
The first one I attended was at my own Primary school in their hall and classrooms. I had no idea at the time what denomination they were. A few searches on the internet tells me that at first a Methodist group went there but it was taken over by a non-denominational evangelical group. So I started out a Methodist (supposedly) and then took up with the Evangelicals (strangely I did not pick up any differences in doctrine at all).
The Evangelicals then moved their church to another school. My memory gets really hazy now- I was on the cusp of going to highschool, but as far as I know a Presbyterian youth group and Sunday school then set up at my school. IT was run by a girl in my year's dad. The Evangelicals who had just moved out was run by another girl's dad. I remember attending both the Presby group and the Evangelical group during those times. I am not sure how or why.
The Sunday school lessons lost us. They were so boring, repetitive and not conducive to learning. There I was, a willing student who had given up my Sundays voluntarily and not at the wishes of my areligious parents - and they lost me. A big problem was that for some reason the other kids in our class were all from the mega-cool group in school. They did not care one bit about the Bible -they talked about boys, clothes and music during our lessons. Their main interest and activity was planning various dance routines that we would do for the church, wearing very dubious outfits that probably gave the real church members a heart attack.
When I got to high-school I gave up on this lot. I was getting the daily message at school, but I was wasting my time on Sunday. I was not cool, I was a total misfit and I was not interested in crop tops and swirly skirts and did not understand how they were related to church.
The friends I made at high school were uber-religious though. They were a diverse bunch, Catholics and Anglican and Methodists, but also some radical fundamentalist types. I went to a Youth group a few times. We all went. They were of the speaking in tongues type of people. This place scared the crap out of me. I was terrified of the girls who started sobbing while we were singing, and muttering, and laying hands on each other. I soon stopped going there. IT seemed too close to some kind of possession for me. This was a Pentacostal type place, strongly influenced by American style Christianity. There are many US-influenced churches, even in my small neighbourhood. American religious colonialism is a big thing.
I never knew that any of these groups hated gay people, believed that the world was created 6000 years ago, and all the other things that have caused me to leave Christianity since. I was clueless. I see now that this particular group does not believe that women can lead faith-based learning. If I had known any of these things, I would have been quite shocked.
Somehow despite all my interaction with Christianity, very little actual information was being conveyed to me.
I did pick up during my time with the evangelical and fundamentalist groups that Christianity was about a feeling, some kind of divine feeling that you accept Jesus as your saviour and have a personal relationship with God. If it wasn't for this I may have been a Christian today. But that feeling never came. I wanted it to, I tried to feel it. I remember sitting in church, feeling guilty and confused because I didn't feel it - and then I just stopped worrying. It was not my fault I didn't feel it. You can't force a feeling. I had no pressure from my family to be religious so it was never a traumatic thing for me.
I still kept trying though. I attended an Alpha course. I could not tell you what even one word of that was about. I was a teenager and our group was led by someone our age. We did not even pretend to discuss whatever it was we were supposed to discuss - just school and parties and relationships. Our leader eventually asked me out. I told him I was not interested and did not know him. I was not attracted to him at ALL. I honestly thought he was kind of gross but that seemed so cruel I eventually said yes to him. Luckily he cheated on my soon after so I never had to kiss him. Ah, the dramas of Alpha. What a waste of my time. Can someone tell me what Alpha is actually about?
Again, there I was, voluntarily offering myself to Christianity, and not one word of information reached me. No one took me, the willing raw material, and made a convert out of me. Missed opportunities, people.
The last attempt I made was back at the Evangelical church hosted by my friend's dad - some or other course on youthful relationships (probably no sex before marriage, I truly had that one down already).
I remember in Biology class I was exposed for the first time to the idea that some people did not believe in evolution, because my friend offered my teacher some theory about bones sinking differentially during the flood to confuse the scientists about times and ages of bones. I had never imagined that there was a problem reconciling God with evolution - his all-powerfulness seemed to fit perfectly with the beautiful and complex systems of Biology, whereas the Bible account sounded like a fable to help ancient societies have a grasp on our beginnings.
I was probably a total non-believer by then - I just went to these things out of kindness or obligation. I remember this same friend expressing her sadness that two of us girls were going to hell unless we were born again. I already knew I was unable to have this feeling that would allow me to be born again (I was religiously constipated!) and I remember the other girl and I just laughing and saying, oh well, at least we will be warm! And I still agreed to go to church events with her.
In my 20's religion never even entered my head (I still went sporadically to some churches if a friend asked me to, I am a very soft person). I was exposed to HIS people once - apparently they outlaw dating and hand-holding and other such fundamentalist things. We were told we needed to attend an official welcome to the university, so all the first years in my residence went along - we thought it was some kind of university thing- to be treated to interpretive dance by the HIS people. Wow. So much dislike in one room for one religious group. The fact that they had tricked us into attending a religious session was what annoyed everyone.
As time went on I thought that God probably did exist because it was such an unlikely story, and often the unlikely thing is the more true one. Um, interesting. I was also completely indifferent to His existence as it seemed to have no bearing on my life at all.
Now I am an atheist. It took a while for me to get here. And I had zero pressure to be religious in my life. IT always impresses me that someone can walk away from religion after being an active, true believer with religious family. It takes courage, and clarity of thought to achieve that - for me it was just a natural progression and so it was easy.
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